Dear Graceson – I am 9 months away from being married to the love of my life, although as difficult as it is to admit, I am having second thoughts. My Fiancé’ and I went to high school together and were on and off again for about 5 years. Finally, we settled down and decided to get married. I adore his sense of humor, intellect, financial stability and loyalty. But his outlook on race makes me cringe and he is an admitted racist. I am not racist and respect people from every ethnic background and walk of life. I wouldn’t say I don’t see color, but it simply doesn’t affect the way I respect people and their culture. My Fiancé’, on the other hand, believes that the Caucasian race is superior to others, and I don’t know if I can disregard this conflict that he and I share. I am wondering if this will work itself out, or if I should end the engagement and move on with my life. Mixed up in Ohio.
Dear Mixed Up: Your heart is clearly telling you that your Fiancé’s racism is more than just a subtle difference in opinions, but rather something far more sinister. There is not much to say here, other than when a person shows you who they are, believe them. This conflict that you find yourself in is more than a difference of where you will go on your honeymoon, this is an integrity issue, that will clearly compromise your morals and virtues. Let the racist go find a woman who shares his twisted and anachronistic views, and let destiny send you a man that will compliment your sincerity. Best Wishes