Mother – Daughter relationships are by far the most unique, and thus the most vulnerable, especially during teenage years.
When girls are younger, they look up to their Mothers, wanting to dress, act, and simply put be like them when they grow up. Then life happens…. the daughter matures, changes her friend group, get a boyfriend, etc., and demands her personal space. The Mother, on the other hand, is working hard in the background, seeking to give her daughter one last final crash course in life, hoping to help her avoid the not-so-nice, life pitfalls. The Mother is stressing over what she did at that age, what detrimental experiences the world has to offer, and among many other things, the dreaded “What if”. This relationship can end on a collision course of Mother VS Daughter.
Fights, slammed doors, privileges being taken, and possibly the worse of all, a breach of trust, and relationship failure are just a few. As a Mother of a daughter who pushed to make her own decisions about what she wanted, when she wanted it, and how; I am a witness that this collision course can end badly. These are just a few reminders, and words of wisdom that may help you with the very tedious and sometimes turbulent Mother-Daughter challenges.
- Remember no matter how much you believe it, this is not about you.
- Try to put yourself into the shoes of your daughter, and understand her world.
- Try to remember that in life, issues almost always appear worse than they actually are, so relax.
- Take yourself out of the equation, and look at the situation as an outsider at least once.
- No matter how hard it is, try to remember that children especially teens rarely respond to forced methods, so choose them wisely.
- Keep things in perspective, and try not to over-react, time usually heals these wounds.
- When punishment is appropriate, think it through carefully, but not when you are angry. Make sure that the punishment is commensurate with the action.
- Most Mother-Daughter relationships get better once the child matures, so expect that -once loving Daughter to be back to loving and respecting you in no time (well a few years maybe). It’s okay to be her Mother, and not her friend for now.
- Experts believe that no matter what children/teens say, they want and need boundaries.
- Remember no matter what happens, this is your child, so show love, and express that you have not given up on them.